And here's another reason why people don't take librarians seriously (there are so many to choose from...): we have newsletters like SCATNews. Seriously, nobody looked at the title and said, "You know, maybe that isn't the message we want to send...."

And fresh off the press is a work of professional interest: Functional Requirements for Authority Data: a conceptual model. Yeah, that's one to take to the beach.

And I'm all for professional organizations having their own professional newsletters and professional publications and professional bureaucratic nightmares...but do they have to be so lame?? Have some respect, people.

Absolutely furious because the washing machine is on the fritz. I came downstairs after half an hour, and the wash was "finished": all my clothes sitting in half a tank of soapy water. Rinse cycle didn't work. Spin cycle didn't work. Dryer doesn't work well with sopping clothes thrown into it. Nice little pitter-patter of water droplets hitting the carpet where I've hung clothes (after wringing them out over the bathroom sink) to dry. What should have taken an hour and a half, has now taken almost three hours. And I hate spending the limited time I have over the weekend on laundry anyway.

Here's the really good bit. Should I call up the landlady and complain? My anger melts away. No need for that, I think. It works ok if you put the washing machine on permanent press spin cycle for like, three times, and wringing out clothes isn't really that hard, and it's only once a week. I wouldn't say nay if my neighbor happened to phone up the landlady, though. My hopes, however, are not high. (He usually leaves his clothes in the washing machine for about a week, which is plenty of time for half a tank of soapy water to evaporate-ish.)

Perhaps I should investigate local laundromats...

Bought towels today. [insert obligatory HHGTTG reference] Two of them. One has zero-twist loops, and the other has low-twist combed loops. (Should I know what this means? Should I care?) OMG the excitement of my life is too much....

In other news, the library received notification that our magazine subscription to Electronic Gaming Monthly has been cancelled (or rather, the publication is being cancelled) and so, as recompense, we will henceforth receive Maxim for the remainder.

The first I knew of this was when my colleague came rushing towards my desk. "Hey, did you see the centerfold?" Uh...wait, what? I think it's safe to say we'll be contacting the vendor to ask for a credit instead.

Speaking of centerfolds, I was going to go for a walk this evening, but I got distracted by pretty, pretty Star Trek pics, and when I looked up it was much too late. Oh, well. This did not stop me from making myself a delicious hot beverage instead, even though it is past my bedtime. It's my party, and I'll chai if I want to.

Let's see: literary references, low humor, bad puns...my work here is done. :P

I stood in the kitchen with a blue pen in my hand, looking at it blankly and thinking, "Now, what was it I was going to write down?"

TWO MINUTES EARLIER:

I need to schedule an oil change. I know they're going to ask me the mileage on my car, and I'm the kind of apathetic person who knows it's time to get an oil change but can't remember the mileage. So in order to make the trip to the car to check the mileage worthwhile, I should take the car and go to the grocery store. And if I'm going to the grocery store, I should take the opportunity to post my car payment (since it's almost impossible to mail something from where I live). In order to post my car payment, I need to write out the check. And writing out the check requires a pen, which is in the kitchen.

I am in the kitchen because I need a pen to write the check to make the car payment which...which...wait, I'm in the kitchen because...okay, give me a minute. (Hey, there are mint Oreos! I forgot I had those!)

ETA: All that, and they never asked me the mileage anyway. ::facepalm::

I'm absolutely obsessed with this song right now; I love the guitar on it; it's got such a great rhythm to it; I love the chorus.

And then I actually looked up the lyrics online. And then I had to Wikipedia the lyrics of the chorus, and sure enough, in between the bit about stockpiling guns is a 60s drug reference. O.o It was a such a great song if you didn't actually listen to the lyrics!! (Hate it when that happens.) So...I still like it, I'm just more careful about when and where I turn up the volume. ::facepalm::

In other news, I've decided that the end of the fiscal year bears some uncanny resemblances to finals (it would certainly explain why I keep having school-related nightmares). A lot of last-minute prep work, a lot of projects that need to be turned in, a lot of "OMG why didn't we start this several months earlier??", and--let's be honest--a lot of constructive procrastination. (I rearranged my file folders and added "see also" references to my Rolodex!) I keep trying to plan some vacation days, but I get bogged down in the "nope, I've got a paper due then" and "This collection is being released that day" and "This is the due date for that project." Feh. Feh, I say! If I wait much longer, my vacation days will be chosen solely upon which calendar dates my pen hits at random. ::sighs::

On the bright side, I got props for the DVD collection I was working on. That has got to be one of the biggest perqs of the job: getting paid to pick out DVDs. :D

So I got that $25 gift card from when I got my internet set up, yeah? And what better way to spend it than at Amazon! Thusly I have spent the last half hour doggedly trying to create a cart that adds up to exactly $25 (which is the minimum needed for free shipping). I haven't done this much earnest math since who knows when, and I have come to the conclusion that Amazon prices its products such that nothing will add up to $25.

Know what adds up to $25? My electricity bill. It would be depressingly prosaic to use such a windfall on my electricity bill.

I totally loved Jon Stewart's grammar nerd shoutout on The Daily Show a couple days ago (the one where he interviewed Tom Hanks). Now there is another bit of English major glee with which to brighten your day: Dickensurl.com. Because tinyurl is so--what's the word?--passe. Why have an alphanumeric URL when you could have...Dickens' quotations?? Exactly. Enjoy. :)

( Star Trek spoiler )

The above icon (or side icon, however you're viewing it) encapsulates my deep desire to avoid anything resembling chores. I went to the grocery store. I washed the dishes. I am exhausted. Hence, no laundry, no sweeping of floors, and no ironing. I amme sick to mye Hart of it.

Much busyness and excitement otherwise, though. I went to the Region Reads kickoff event, and immediately identified myself as a librarian because when everyone else took one bookmark, I surreptitiously took 50. And a poster. And 25 more bookmarks. (At this point someone else snuck 50 bookmarks, and we looked at each other and said, "So. Librarian?" As a secret handshake, it was kind of lame, now I think on it.) I was panicking about the whole thing earlier, since I was filling in for someone else and had no idea what I'd be expected or called upon to do. Introduce people? Shake hands? Stand up by the podium? Hide? And there was the requisite dithering by the closet, during which I managed to get a splinter in the ball of my thumb...which just goes to show that fashion emergencies are not only harmful to one's emotional health, but also to one's physical health, as well. (Not to self: must sand down edge of closet door.)

I've been feeling very hamster-on-the-wheel-ish lately. I've been doing a lot of running about, but where have I actually been going? And the answer is: nowhere, fast. I'm not sure if I just need a(nother) vacation, or if I should start thinking about a career change. Because as satisfying as it is teaching little old ladies how to cut and paste, I keep feeling like there's something more out there. Except that I actually do like what I'm doing right now, even though I'm slightly overworked. (A lot overworked.) And I know that I have a tendency to bury my head, ostrich-like, in details so as to ignore or avoid whatever else is going on...and so I run the hamster-wheel during the week (too busy with projects, I'll deal with that later) and over the weekend (too busy trying to catch up with chores, I'll deal with that later). I think I need a Sign. But I'm much too tired to think about it all right now, so I'll deal with it later. :)

What a beautiful day! I sat on the window-seat in the sun with the window open for the breeze and read textual criticism until I noticed bubbles floating past my window. The little girl next door was chasing them around the yard, and as I watched I saw her stomp one onto the grass, peer suspiciously at her foot to make sure the bubble didn't reemerge, and then rush back to her mother. "Mommy, mommy, I caught one, I caught one!" You can tell spring is really here because all the dandelions have sprouted overnight--forget the daffodils.

It isn't quite a four-season New England day: more like a three-season. I started off with a shirt and sweater, shed the sweater in favor of short sleeves, and am now considering shorts. I'll go for a walk after dinner--it's too hot now to go for a ramble, but I am enjoying having all the windows open. It's nice hearing birdsong, and the buzz of bees visiting the budding trees, church bells chiming the hours, and the occasional whistle from the train going by.

Hamburger, mac'n'cheese, and fresh strawberries for dinner, followed by chocolate cake and Da Vinci Code, which I've never seen before (although I've read the book). It seems like a fitting way to end the day, since I started by reading Biblical criticism (as in, "criticism and interpretation", not "death to the Christians"). Tomorrow will be even better: the same lovely weather, plus "Wait wait, don't tell me" on the radio and plans for lemon-raspberry muffins (for breakfast) and homemade quiche (for dinner).

Sitting outside with my mother and the dog, when all of a sudden Maggie's ears perk up curiously and she puts her nose to the ground and starts following something large and black.

"Mom, call Maggie, she's chasing a cricket or something."

"What is that?" my mother asks, peering over the arm of her Adirondack chair.

"It looks like a toad or a WHOA! It's a frickin' huge spider!!"

"Don't scare it off," my mom says. "It eats mice."

"HOLY SHIT!!! It EATS MICE??!" I am now on top of the Adirondack chair, and trying to get higher. "Are you for real?? Those poor mice!"

"No, of course it doesn't eat mice, don't be so gullible."

It's hard to glare accusingly at someone while standing on the arms of an Adirondack chair and still maintain one's dignity, but I gave it my best. (It was a *huge* spider.)

A hold was placed on a book. The book was in the library. The book was taken off the shelf by a staff member and the hold was "trapped" in the computer, generating a hold slip which was then placed in the book. The book was placed on a shelf pending retrieval by the reference staff. The staff took the book off the shelf and placed it on a cart with other books, which were then wheeled over to the reference desk. The hold slip was pulled from the book, and the patron's name was written along the top, last name first. According to the slip, the patron would automatically be notified via e-mail that their hold was available. The slip was then dated and placed in the book so the patron's name was visible, and the book was placed back on the cart. The cart was wheeled back to the circulation desk, and the book was shelved according to the patron's last name among the other reserved books.

Meanwhile, our friendly overdues clerk (who wears many hats) received an e-mail bounceback. Oh noes! There's a problem with the e-mail generated to notify the patron that the book is available! She pulls the book off the shelf to further investigate and discovers:

The book is being held for our IT person's dog. The dog, who has a dummy record which is used for test scenarios. Apparently the IT person was checking out the hold overrides and forgot to take the hold back off Ranger's card. But seriously: no one noticed this earlier?? Especially when the contact phone number was 444-HOWL?? :P

Here's a question for all my library-land peeps: what ILS are you all using? We recently upgraded to Workflows Symphony, and let me tell you: fun is working on a holiday weekend the day after the upgrade trying to fix, on the fly, all the things we didn't know were going to go haywire. ::is still slightly wild-eyed:: Anyhoo, if by any chance you are also using Symphony, I have a question regarding overriding holds (or rather, the lack thereof) that perhaps you could answer for me.

In other news, I have been inspired by olivia_circe to post the following in honor of National Poetry Month: ( The name of the author is the first to go )

So my coworker--whom I adore, btb--was checking in with me about what information should and should not be deleted from MARC records. I clutched my chest a lot ("OMG you can't delete that!!!") and we determined that the cataloging agency needs to be kept, and the geographic area code needs to be kept, and the genre headings really need to be kept.

Then we looked at the very last field of a record we received from the Library of Congress. (I've mentioned Library of Congress records before. These have all sorts of cool messages in them, like "Needed for Congressional loan--hand carry" which technically don't need to be kept in public library records. Yes, you can delete that.) The very last field of the record generally contains the contact information for the author's literary agent. You know, e-mail, phone number, that sort of thing. I've always kept that info, because really--you never know when you might need an agent's phone number; this is just one of the perks of being a librarian, after all.

Anyway, my coworker points to that field--the one with the agent's contact info--and asks me, "What about the 'Call Mike for a good time' field?" And I go "ROFL!" and fall out of my chair. :P Best MARC field description ever, imho, and I'm tempted to write "Call Mike for a good time" in the field just to see if anyone notices...

Not only did I buy a lamp, but I also bought a shredder. Woo-hoo. Forgot the light bulbs for the lamp, though. ::Facepalm:: These things are never easy, but I quite like the lamp. Also: DVDs of Willow, Princess Bride, and Pride and Prejudice were on super-cheap sale, so really I had no choice but to purchase them.

Hauled everything (I also bought a bunch of boring necessaries, like soap and paper towels and other myriad items which mysteriously added up to more than I thought they would) upstairs and began assembling the lamp. "We are excited that you chose to buy this lamp!" the directions read. Seriously. "And it is our goal that assembling it will be a pleasurable experience." Like hell, I thought. But actually it was easier than I thought: no screwdriver or alcohol necessary! Just screw this bit into that bit, and screw that bit into this bit, and wiggle the wires some, and voila! Many-headed monster! Which was kinda the goal, so that's all good. (Did I mention that this lamp has 5 moveable lamp shades in various retro colors? I like it, although I must grudgingly admit that chrome doesn't really fit into my color scheme. But it was chrome for $17 or black for $60, so I went with chrome. It's a temporary lamp, which means I will keep it for a year and then sell or give it away once I find something better.)

Now to find something lunchy to eat, and thence off into the cold blustery-ness again.

This is just to say that I am strangely disappointed by Google's holiday theme. Ask.com has a *much* better design.

Nothing like watching five librarians engage in a shouting match, complete with banging fists on the table. That sort of thing pisses me off very, very quickly. I didn't get my say (I am very rarely a shouty person), but how infinitely more satisfying to post it here. No, they'll never see it, but on the other hand--no going hoarse or sore fists.

The issue: why must we insist on uniformity among all library catalogs when people are comfortable using many other websites with many different interfaces? (I know what you're thinking. I can't believe it started a shouting-match either.)

( Cut for sheer boringness )

I feel better already. :)

Fish-sitting for my neighbor. Dear God, let me deliver this fish to him at the end of the week without having it go belly-up. It's a beta fighting fish, which means no way am I sticking my finger in the bowl because it might go all kung-fu karate on me. And judging by the baleful glare it keeps giving me, it appears to be contemplating leaping from its abode, dragging itself across the carpet, and doing that anyway. Its fish food is stinky. I don't think it likes me. I forgot to ask what its name is. Actually, I didn't forget, I just didn't want my neighbor to go all O.o? I sincerely hope it doesn't leap from the bowl and die on my carpet, because fish-suicide is not something I want to explain and also I don't want dead fish on my carpet.

Can you tell I've been traumatized much by having all the fish in my first-grade class go belly-up?

Also: it needs to stop staring at me, because it's starting to seriously get on my nerves. Nothing like the feeling that someone is watching you...

Mary Russell* friended me, which--during the five seconds it took to process that information--felt amazingly like being at a crowded party, and having your shoulder tapped by, I don't know, [insert name of someone awesome], saying, "May I introduce myself?"

And during the next five seconds I thought about what a great promotional piece of (forgive me) detective work, taking my e-mail address (which I had submitted to a different but related site for a different purpose) and somehow filtering it through various applications before finding one at which I am a member.

And then it occurred to me: my e-mail address isn't searchable at that site. No one's is. Which means I was either chosen randomly (which seems unlikely, given the targeted nature of this) or there are stronger forces at work here than I realized or (and this is sobering) my privacy safeguards aren't as good as I thought they were.

I don't like any of those options. I've been pretty careful about keeping applications separate: the whole "right hand knoweth not what the left hand doth" idea. No links to other applications, no references, different usernames (ok, I goofed on that once, but it seemed like a good idea at the time), and if there's anything that could possibly link my more abstract actions to, you know, me, then it's locked, restricted, or deleted. I like to think I do pretty well, overall. Until now, of course. Bummer.



*You know who Mary Russell is, don't you? She matches wits with Sherlock Holmes, and confronts villains, and ok she might also be a fictional character. Whatever.

My boss comes up to me. "Laura, what do people say nowadays when something is cool?"

"Wait, what?" (Which is totally my new favorite phrase.)

"I mean, when I was young, things were 'rad' or 'hip.'"

"Okay..."

"So what's 'cool' now?"

"Well," I said, "obviously not me, because I've always just said something's 'cool.' Observe as I demonstrate the power of blogs by asking all my friends about it."

One of my coworkers has suggested that "money" is the correct adjective. This is based solely upon the title of a young adult novel, and I suspect it's incorrect. (She's so money, what does that even mean?)